What I actually took with me

I was very frugal with what I took the reason being like always I overpack and never really need half of it.  So here is my break down for 3 nights

Toiletries

Toothbrush & toothpaste

Shampoo 2 in 1

Soap bar 

Flannel - not needed THG supplied

Deodorant

Clothing

Soft Bra x 3 

Knickers x 4

Pyjama's x 3 (I wore the shortie ones and just really had the top on)

Dressing gown (Wore around the hospital when I was getting moving and outside)

Slippers

Maxi - Dress to go home in

Cardigan

Medication

Vitamins & Minerals

Anti Acid

Anti Anxiety/Depression meds

Extra's

A fan

Ipad/charger/headphones

Phone/Charger

That is it my friends..  Simply because I did not want to over do it and I knew I really wouldnt care what I looked like once I had the surgery. This fitted in a beach bag.  So it was easy to carry.

Hope this helps

The Flip Side

Dear friends it is so good seeing you again.  Even though I am probably talking to myself, it all good.  I am not doing this blog for anyone but me.  Getting my thoughts and feelings out there.

So Dearies where did we leave off.  I think I was just about to go to the hospital..

11th July 2017 Mum and I travelled to Solihull.  It is quite a nice place there.  Our Driver Pete got us to Spire Parkways in perfect time for my pre op assessment.  I was nervous but yet happy.  I had my support group there on whatsapp and also my mum with me.  I don't think I could have got through it without her and them.  They were the ones who have been rallying round, making me laugh when things were getting tricky..

At the pre op the nurse checked, my heart, blood, weight, blood pressure and oxygen levels.  She was quite amazed how healthy I am.  I was really proud.  So my final pre of weigh in was 23lbs..  Yeah almost 2 stone.  I never thought I would even get to that much.

They were so nice.  Everyone was so welcoming and comforting.  I never felt rushed at all, no wonder I was so calm.

Mum and I went off to our hotel who again were very welcoming friendly and kind.  We were starving by this point.  I was feeling a little queasy all day, pre - op nerves.  So I really wanted a burger but I was clever, I had steak which was protein, mushrooms and tomato for my veg and carbs I had a few chips.  I never ate any desert which was a miracle..  I was really pleased with myself that I never had a blow out.

Anyway I was told that my operation was put back to around 4pm EEEEEKKKKKK!!! and to be in for 3pm.  I could have breakfast around 8 - 9am but nothing after 12.   As you can imagine the day of my surgery I was not good, my tummy was playing the fandango...  Mum and I decided to go and get some breakfast and then go for a walk.  That wasn't to happen.  The Hospital called and wanted me in straight away.  I went in to panic mode.  Lucky I didn't actually eat breakfast cos my nerves would not allow it.

So I get to the hospital when Mr Vijaar came and saw me.  He explained that Mr Richardson was running late and if I wanted he would do my surgery.  There I go another panic mode.  I thought on the spot and agreed.  We went through all the paperwork and low and behold my Angel Dr Richardson came swooping in like superman without the cape.  Before I knew it I was prepared for surgery ..........

Friends do forgive me if I am taking my time to catch you up.  I am all thinger and fumbs and the moment..

Tomorrow

Hello friends.

So tomorrow is my surgery.  Today I am travelling to Midlands with mum - Having the pre op etc.  How am I feeling.  Well.....................  It's all good..   I did a final weigh in lost another 3lbs.  I really wish it was this easy.  Unfortunately it's really not!!  I know if the surgery was not at the end of the tunnel, I would have caved weeks ago.

Hasn't it gone fast.  I mean really fast!! 4 weeks ago I was taking my first gulp of milk.  I still cant stomach the protein shakes.  Anyhooo I will update you when I am back with a long old story xx

So I will see you on the flip side..

Not many days to go

OHHHHHHHH!! I am wibbly at the moment.  But lucky for me I have so much to do..  Which is good.  It's keeping me super busy and I love it..

Almost 4 weeks in and I've lost a grand total of 20lbs.  Not bad I thought I might only lose around 10lbs.  So bonus all the way.  I've felt a little bit techy of late and this stage of my jur - hur- knee I am near breaking point.  However, saying that I am really pleased with myself.  Yesterday there was a B-B-Q at work, everything you can imagine, big fat cream cakes <insert drooling here>  Guess what I did?   I just turned my back and waddled down to my office, where I proceeded to open the fridge take out my lettuce, tomato and chicken salad, with no dressings and wept softly as I munched away..  HAHAHA!  But you know what, I benefited from all of that by the weight loss.

But seriously my mindset has really changed.  Before I would eat with my emotions now I feel like I have hope.  I still need to work on chewing slowly and hope that come in stages.  So another week in and completed.  I am really proud of myself.

I did my Facts & Figures today also - There is no noticeable signs in the picture but everything else has reduced.

See you later alligators xx

8 Days to go

OH friends!! What have I done????

I had some chocolate buttons.  I couldn't help it!!  They were bugging and bugging and I stuck my greedy hand in the packet and ate them.  You know what, I never even enjoyed it.  Karma is a bitch!! I really wanted to savour, but because I was being sneaky about it, I never enjoyed them at all.  So I am human.  This is exactly why I am on my journey to stop this consistent cycle of lose, eat, gain, repeat.

Oh well so yeah, that's where I am at at the moment.  The bunny food is doing it for me, however I discovered I really don't like the florette mixed salad bag and much prefer the tesco or Asda one.  I think I will pay a visit to Morrisons when I run out.  I know look at me looking at all the different options of lettuce.  My life is so full of exciting new things hahahahaha!!!

Other than my insane guilt, which will pass. I have been feeling ok.  I have been keeping myself busy, yes with the jigsaw puzzle, another exciting part of my life.  I feel much better, I noticed today when I finished work that I wasn't rocking side to side as I walked and was walking quite normally.  Well normally for me.  I have also noticed that my boobers are fitting nicely into my bra and I am not fighting to get them in.

I just have to keep positive.  I have done well. This is me being human.  I am allowed to make mistakes.  I can get back on track.  Tomorrow is another day.

Have a great week friends xx

Day I've Lost count..

Good Morning Friends - I hope you are well?  I am extremely well.

Week 3 was a total melt down of emotion for me and I did battle though it.  I did!!  Yes it was hard and yes I was at my end but I battled on.  How I did it was all in the mindset.  I know that if I don't lose the weight there is a higher chance of me not being the best I can be.  How is this different from your average diet?  For me I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.  Usually around the time in my average diet I would start to fail.  I would start nibbling bits and bobs, picking at this and that, eating and thinking oh that wont hurt, and basically sabotaging myself.  With the amount of weight I have to lose ( around 12 stone) it feels as there is no end to your journey.  Motivational meetings are designed for the moment.  When you are alone with yourself the demons start talking.  This time round there is a purpose.  Do I get a little angsty about why I couldn't do this before?  I'm questioning all the time.  I know in my heart that I can't do this long term.  I would fail, at any event, celebration or even when a fancy takes me over.  I would binge as I always do, I would justify the food I was eating.

I must say this is the biggest challenge I have ever faced.  As my surgery date hurtles faster towards me (10 Days) I am becoming more and more busy.  I have found myself projects that can keep me occupied.  I'm starting a new course on mental health.  I am also sinking my teeth into a larger project to do with the residents in the block I live in.  I'm quite excited for both.  Before and after surgery I will be busy mentally.  I think that's good for me to be occupied.  I have six weeks off work so I can't get bored really lol.

Anyway this week I have lost 6lb bringing me to a grand total of 17lbs.  That's loads.  I am feeling it on my tummy.  Of course no one else notices because I am still wearing figure hiding clothes.  I'm updating facts and figures so check out my chart.

Be well friends xx