50 Shades of Boredom

Yeah so me and my BFF Emma have both read the book 50 shades of grey and decided that because the book was so literally terrible we should see if the film was any better, and also have our own opinion on the facts of the film.

The credits roll and wooohoo the film is off to a roaring start.  OH!! Oh no wait is that Emma sleeping – I look across and there she is with her eyes open but I do believe she is sleeping.  How does one do that?..  Maybe her eyes dried out..  My goodness we are only 5 minutes into the film… 

I really should not compare anything to the book, my imagination is far to wild for the likes of Christian and Ana.  He had thin lips – she was perfect.. But his lips were creepy lol!  Also I was waiting for the spark, maybe I am old and sinister but there was not spark, no charisma, no va va voom.  I just didn’t feel it.

As my swollen eyes glanced around the theatre at the other 3 strangers in there, two people are walking out.  Is the film that bad?  Yeah! Really! Yeah!  I am still trying to figure out the story.  I got the whole boy meets girl thing and for a while there I was waiting for a wolf to bound on to the screen but then I realised this wasn't twilight bwahahahaha!

For twilight fans this is a diabolical story of  Edward and Bella also known as Christian and Ana.. *SIGH* <Insert vom bucket here>  I mean, I am one for giving everything a second thought, I am a Libra, it’s natural to me to balance up the pro’s and the consssssss..  But honestly, please go see it but only if you need sleep not for entertainment.  Also see it if you want to join in the conversations at work.  I have honestly seen more action in a Disney film.

Verdict is…  if you must watch it then take lots of popcorn so when you get bored you can munch your way through..  Lot’s of lip locking… Lots of muff hair, does no one own a pube trimmer? All that money and you would think he would invest in a trimmer – blimey it would put a yeti to shame.   oh and Emma just said that Ana had a mole under her armpit.  You see what happens when one gets bored, we become critical ha ha ha ha.  Please Christian stop by the beauty salon and get yours and Ana’s muffs trimmed.  But then Emma just said maybe they had to have extra furry muffs for the camera   Does this mean they had muff extensions?  Emma also wants to add in this part (whose is this blog anyway) that if that’s the worst it can get…..  I am not even going to type what she said ….

So let me know your 50 Shades of Grey thoughts..

This is the sadder part of the story, I just have to watch the next ones, just for a laugh……